Billy Mays is dead, Vince Schlomi is in jail, who's going to sell me useful gadgets at ridiculously low prices now?!
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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