new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Randomize