oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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