What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
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