the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
