I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
