If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
you inspire me to be a worse person
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
