Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
