this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
