Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Are my feet made of real feet?
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I just gave myself a foot massage. #SingleAsFuck
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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