walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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