I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
i just google imaged poop.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
