he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I feel like we need a drunken piñata bash with your face being the piñata and my hopes and dreams being the stick
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
