I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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