Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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