Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
Randomize