drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
