i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
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