Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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