Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
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