worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
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