I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Randomize
