moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
Randomize
