I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize