THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
