I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Floor bacon is actually really good
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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