we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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