i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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