The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
After he finished his girlfriend called him. I sat there, tied his shoes for him, then he high fived me and said "this is gonna be a great summer steph"
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Randomize
