Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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