That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Semen is not good for contacts.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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