My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
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