i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Randomize
