You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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