Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
