Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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