Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
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