I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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