yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
Randomize
