dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize