Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
Randomize
