I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
