dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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