Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Randomize
