Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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