Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
I'm like, not good at living.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
