The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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