What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
Randomize
