The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
I just threw up on my dentist
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
