Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
