SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
