Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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