I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I am sitting on the couch "eating" a frozen big bucket margarita with a spoon.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
