I wish i was in the wii world.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
