She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Randomize
