he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Randomize
