I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
screw it, I'll just be a stripper until next August when then are looking for suitable teachers to teach the future of America. it's like a feel good movie just a little out of order and im a dude.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
