i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
