Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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