She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
