THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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