Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
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