The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Randomize
