So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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